Pressure Drop

It's weird, transitioning from being in school to being on break. All of a sudden I have nothing to do. It's like school teaches me to forget how to entertain myself. But I think I've always been like that. I find it hard to keep myself entertained unless I'm doing something art related.

So, I suppose the solution is to do art stuff all summer? But...that requires money. And I can't use the darkroom. Which is complete bullshit.

I do want to try my hand at painting, which is something I've earlier expressed an interest in tackling this summer. So maybe I'll save up some money for some brushes and paints and a canvas and have at it. I just need to pay for my carpet to get cleaned, pay off my speeding ticket, buy myself some recreational fun items, buy myself new shoes, a new bathing suit, and apply for art shows first. So, you know, that won't take forever or anything. Ugh.

Magic Dance

I guess I should be a good artist and work on photo stuff this summer. I can't seem to find the motivation to set up photoshoots or anything. I can't even afford milk. So, my priorities need to get in order.

I want to be as unproductive as humanly possible this summer. Is that bad? Shouldn't I feel motivated and inspired and blah blah blah? Ugh. Damn.

Maybe it'll come to me.

Fuck You

No, seriously, go fuck yourself.

Stay Together For The Kids

Sometimes, I really hate that this happens.

That I get affected so easily by what's happening around me. And I know that other people notice and think I'm weird and blah blah blah.

I wish I weren't so paranoid. I wish that I could believe that people might actually genuinely like me. I wish I could believe that I was something worth liking.

Whine. Anyway.

Everyones At It

I get how drugs are harmful and all that, but why is there such a stigma about it?
Seriously?

Cigarettes are harmful, and one of the quickest things to get physically addicted to. Alcohol is pretty fucked up when you think about it, and yet we push that shit down teenagers throats like it was healthy. I just don't understand how certain substances got the short straw while others are 'cool' and get glorified.

Everything is better in moderation.

Save Me

But I've learned my lesson.

I'm the only one who can save myself. I'm my own hero in disguise. I'm Clark Kent, Lois Lane, and Superman, all in one.

True Love Will Find You In The End

I wish more people believed in Karma.
Now, religion is a tricky subject (and yes, I'm counting Buddhism as a religion, even though a lot of people don't. But it is, and it's a little offensive to practicing Buddhists to have their religion discredited from theological debates). And ideas similar to Karma come up a lot in different religions. But the true, pure idea of karma is something I live by, and it makes me really content, and I wish I could share that glimmer of inner peace with others.
Basically, to those who don't know, Karma is the idea that whatever you put out into the universe you get back. This comes up a lot in Wiccan practice (every spell cast comes back three fold or ten fold, I forget which). Any negative thoughts come back to you, and any positive thoughts come back to you.
This is how I live my life, always wishing the best for everyone, even if I don't know them. Even if I have every right to hate them. I can't make myself hate them, because I don't want to be hated. I can't wish ill on anyone, because I don't wish ill on myself. I think that this forces me to try to see others perspectives, try to truly understand their actions before jumping to conclusions and making myself a victim, which is really important to me.

Just...a useless rant, I guess. I don't know. Eh.