Friday, April 29, 2011

Daydreaming

There are two types of people, I believe: people who hardly ever daydream and people who never stop.
Unfortunately, I am one of those people who never stops daydreaming. It's great for my artwork, but not great for real life.
It means I'm an absolutely terrible listener; since I was a child, it's been really hard for me to comprehend audibly. They made me get my hearing tested in 6th grade because I was tested on learning capabilities through various forms and my audible comprehension was so low they figured I wasn't hearing the instructions properly. No, I just don't know how to make myself listen. I'm much better at visual comprehension.
It means that if I'm not looking at you speak I probably have no idea what you're saying. Not because I can't hear you but because I can't get my mind to focus on what you're saying unless I'm looking at you.
It means that I can NEVER pay attention in class. Ever. It's why I take such meticulous notes, so that I can go back later and re teach myself everything I was already supposed to have learned.

While I was taking anti-anxiety medication, I found that this was never a problem. Which I guess means that my incessant daydreaming is a byproduct of my severe anxiety. It's how I cope with being around people in the real world. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anthropophobic, but leaving my house gives me severe anxiety. And I just daydream to disconnect myself from feeling anxious about being around people. But it has detrimental side effects, I believe. Not severe, but just enough to be upsetting to me. Because I want to feel good about leaving my house and going outside, and I want to be more extroverted.

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